1. Now walking exclusively on my hands.
2. Ridding all carbon from my life in a massive bonfire.
3. Teleporting all my trash to parallel-universe-Earth.
4. Sealing all trees around me in polyurethane to prevent the soil from being over-carboned.
5. Now grilling with magnesium briquettes only.
6. Pushing car wherever I go.
7. Eliminating carbon from my diet.
8. Reducing risk of producing dangerously carbon-based offspring by having sex with vinyl women only.
9. No longer defecating.