June 24, 2007

My Superpowers That Are Currently in the Development Phase

1. Being able to sing proficiently in a five-octave range.

2. Call-backwarding.

3. Omni-directional whining.

4. Permanent 2-for-1 entrees at most local restaurants.

5. Jumping over a swinging rope in a single bound.

6. Making anyone think I'm sleeping when I'm actually sort-of awake.

7. Propelling self through water using only my arms and legs.

8. Reading while skydiving.

9. Instant torpor.

10. Making time seem to stop through use of excessive exposition.

11. Brushing and flossing at the same time.

12. Evading the question.

13. Putzing around sub-atomically.

14. Really great at washing dishes.

15. Ability to travel forward in time and place.

16. Projectile cursing.

17. Can catch bullets with only one bullet wound per catch.


ShOI said...

18. The ability to see through solid air
19. Flatulent ventriloquism
20. 3-D vision
21. Sonic hearing
22. Instant karma
23. Temporary insanity on demand
24. Diplomatic immunity wherever I stand

Anonymous said...

Oh- I can think of some great omni-directional whiners with whom I am in close personal contact...