July 18, 2007

Do We Really Need A Sign For That?

Gentle Reader,

I recently returned from a sojourn out west with the family. We drove, camped and stayed in random hotels; hence my attendant spate of unblogitude.

I am back.

My trip inspired a few possible lists. A couple have already been laid to the digital paper. There are more to come.

For instance, one day, while driving through some canyons in the Rocky Mountains, I noticed a sign reading "
In case of flood, climb to higher ground".

Hmmm... I wondered what sorry soul's misadventure necessitated that sign. Did someone actually descend as the flood waters approached? Did that soon-to-be-ex-person believe the basement to be a nice shelter against excessive flowage?

Hard to say. Maybe the state department of transportation just felt people wouldn't be able to act with the same presence of mind and alacrity that voles and skinks use to save their own hides in such situations.

Whatever the reason, I felt it might be wise to propose some other painfully obvious signs we could also adopt as a society. Enjoy.

1. In case of choking, induce breathing.

2. Cross-traffic does not stop. You should.

3. Please do not bake cookies in the urinal.

4. This air is for breathing.

5. Do not enter streets which have "Do not enter" signs posted.

6. In case of hunger, eat.

7. Red traffic lights are neither green nor yellow.

8. Breaking the law is a punishable offense.

9. Falling from cliff may result in pain.

10. At the top the hill, you will start going down.

11. This movie contains the visual elements of a story.

12. In case of fire, descend to flood.

13. Dying leads to death.

14. These cookies may have been baked in a urinal.


Anonymous said...

Just south of Northfield on Highway 3 there is a sign that says "Entrance at this exit."

As Jack Parr used to say "I kid you not."

Brendon Etter said...

Niiiice! I will have to check that out next I'm goin' down to F-town, Jim...

By "F-town", I mean Faribault... ummm... town...