July 1, 2007

How To Please A Woman

Please, dear reader, most of this is fairly top secret. Be very cautious. Do try this at home.

1. Generally leave her be.

2. Tell every woman you meet how beautiful they are. Snicker after she's out of hearing range.

3. Do not introduce her to me.

4. Offer her a free facial anytime she wants one.

5. When on a date, tell her that you want her to eat whatever she wants and not worry about about how fat she is.

6. Buy her things. Without exception, women are incredibly shallow, and they need commercial goods to feel happiness - remind her of that fact when you give her the gift(s). Go ahead; do it.

7. Be sure to point out that at least she doesn't have to burden herself with work or a career.

8. Have sex with her. Scientists estimate up to 8% of women enjoy sex.

9. Just shut your damn mouth.

No comments: