July 23, 2007

A Compendium of Facts That You're Going to Just Have to Believe Are True

1. My left ankle is a touch sore.

2. Really, you do smell quite awful.

3. When the grizzly bear struck, he removed your head in one quick swipe. Seriously. I have it on film.

4. Of course I love you.

5. My thinking-state has a speed limit of 83 thoughts per second. I recklessly break that limit all day, every day.

6. The common American beaver has leftist, semi-Canadian political leanings.

7. The belief that I will never hurt you will fail to be supported by the impending, repeatedly-stabby reality.

8. Sure, I like bacon, just not that much.

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