August 6, 2007

Good God, Bad God

1. Good God sends a plague of locusts; Bad God sends a plague of angsty, teenage locusts.

2. Good God smites thee; Bad God won't stop tapping thee on the shoulder.

3. Good God floods the Earth, killing all; Bad God floods the Earth with preachy pamphleteering, annoying all.

4. Good God knows all; Bad God insists on playing "just one more" round of Trivial Pursuit - "double or nothing."

5. Good God lays out commandments by which all humans must live; Bad God lays out crappy strip malls by which all humans must live.

6. Good God prescribes what animals humans may consume; Bad God uses too much barbeque sauce on his lark-kabobs.

7. Good God sees all; Bad God takes pictures of everything and posts them on the internet for all to see.

8. Good God is infallible; Bad God makes tons of mistakes, but never owns up to any of them.

9. Good God hears your plea for mercy; Bad God has outsourced all mercy services to a plea center in India.

10. Good God blesses the beasts and children; Bad God juggles the beasts and children.

11. Good God tosses you into a lake of fire; Bad God tosses you into the suspiciously warm spot in the pool.


Jim H. said...

Good God gives you an exciting, fun baseball team to watch. Bad God then makes the team play indoors and football stadium.

Jim H. said...

That should be "in a" football stadium.

Bad God gave me fat fingers.

Jessica said...

Good God, you're funny!


Brendon Etter said...

Thanks, Jessica, so nice to hear from you again!

Jim... frickin' lost tonight... they coulda been that much closer to the top of the division!

Anonymous said...

GOOD GOD made the world and its beauty. he gave us freewill and a set of rules to live by that we would all be better off if we followed his rules. He did not promise to protect us from harm on earth. God is love and forgiveness. Not punishment. Gods judgement is if you don't repent he just says to the devil with you.
He gave the earth free will under natures laws.
BAD GOD inserted passages in the bible that talks of gods wrath & anger & confuses people about gods goodness.