August 2, 2007

Are You on Fire?

1. Yes, but it's a controlled burn of an overgrown patch of hair to lessen the risk of a lightning strike-induced wild fire.

2. No, I am merely wrapped in very crinkly orange plastic, and that plastic is on fire.

3. Yes, but not overly so.

4. Maybe, I'm waiting for my doctor's tests to come back from the lab.

5. No, but I am suffering from heat-related inflammation.

6. Yes, with unrequited passion for you.

7. Maybe, who wants to know?

8. Yes, but only internally.

9. No, it's my new Singed Flesh antiperspirant.

10. Yes, but I'm busy right now. I'll take care of it after my party.

11. No, the fire is on me.

12. Yes, but I like to think of it as heat-enabled. Why are you such a temperaturist?

13. Yes, yes, already! Please turn off the blowtorch!

14. Maybe, would you still love me if I was?

15. What? Sorry, I'm have a hard time hearing people over these loud flames and my piercing shrieks of intolerable pain.

16. No, I'm of fire.


Deeb said...

16. On fire? No. Drugs? Maybe.

17. No, but your eyeballs appear to be, which may explain why you see everything as being on fire lately.

18. Yes, but my attempt to infuse myself with rich hickory flavor has succeeded admirably.

Jim H. said...

19. Not really. It's just a Bruce Springsteen song.

20. I have been eating a lot at The Embers lately...

Brendon Etter said...

21. No, I'm inflammable... no, wait... flammable? No, that can't be right either...