December 14, 2007

How to Start a Checking Account

Step 1. Make sure checking account has ample supply of money or dollars or both.

Step 2. Prime interest rate.

Step 3. Consult with banking official about whatever.

Step 4. Collect requisite multiple copies of glossy, colorful banking pamphlets about the life decision you are about to make that will enable you and your life partner and family and golden retrievers and even gerbils to jaunt and cavort in various bucolic environments - lakes, backyards, fields, minivans, anonymous country scenes - enjoying your riches in ways that would not have been possible without the tender care of a financial institution or the monetary instruments that you are about to start.

Step 5. Insert key into checking account.

Step 6. Turn key clockwise while stepping on cash.

Step 7. Roll away in your glorious new checking account.

Step 8. Sit back and wait for the life of step 4 to commence.

(NB: Do not ask the bank where it keeps the families pictured in the pamphlets. The bank does not appreciate such an inquiry.)

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