December 11, 2007

How to Safely Cliff Dive

Step 1. Find a cliff.

Step 2. Locate water at base of cliff.

Step 3. Climb cliff.

Step 4. Tie one baby to another to start a babychain.

Step 5. Continue tying babies together until babychain is long enough to reach water.

Step 6. Baby by baby, slowly lower babychain into water.

Step 7. Raise babychain out of water and to the top of the cliff.

Step 8. Inspect how many babies are wet.

Step 9. If at least six babies are completely wet, the water is deep enough for diving.

Step 10. Slowly lower the babychain into the water again.

Step 11. Secure uppermost baby of babychain to the top of the cliff.

Step 12. Dive.

Step 13. Use babychain to ascend cliff for future dives.

(NB: Please don't pollute - take your babychain home when done diving. The world record cliff dive was 179.4 babies high. Please use sun screen and watch for crosswinds. Good luck.)


eric said...

Ha! I was most amused to see a familiar name after clicking the "Minnesota" link on my profile page.

Real men will dive into water only 4 babies deep. ;-)

Cool blog, Mr. Etter.

Brendon Etter said...

Back in my day, we used to dive into pits that were of unknown baby depth, an altogether different test of manhood.

Sometimes, we couldn't even find enough babies to string together...

Eric? Eric who? I'm sure I should know you, but, alas, I am a blank.

Thanks for the compliment.