December 11, 2007

How to Eat a Lobster

Step 1. Find ocean.

Step 2. Hover above ocean.

Step 3. Call out "Here lobsty, lobsty, lobsty".

Step 4. Grab lobster when it leaps out of water at your siren song.

Step 5. Boil water.

Step 6. Throw lobster in water.

Step 7. Cry at its pained, mournful screams.

Step 8. Put cooked lobster on plate.

Step 9. Throw baby at plate.

Step 10. Instruct baby to eat lobster.

Step 11. Eat baby.

Step 12. Wash hands.

Step 13. Cleanse soul.

Step 14. Find a different ocean where the lobsters won't suspect the danger disguised in your enchanting call.

(NB: You can also wash your hands before eating the baby. It shouldn't really matter.)

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