1. Despite understated smirk, my unblinking stare betrays true meaning of what I'm saying.
2. Recent completion of courses in seriousness studies.
3. Las Vegas oddsmakers give 2-to-1 on serious intent.
4. Giggled, but had fingers crossed.
5. Ready, willing and able to count to three slowly, increasing volume as I go.
6. Scientific analysis of recent full-body x-rays have found not one kidding bone in my body.
7. Stand-up comedy routine at Captain Yuk-Yuk's was a dismal failure.
8. Have a signed and notarized Certificate of Unkiddingness.
9. Almost ninety percent willingness to turn this car around right now.