More Knock Knock Jokes of the Damned

Joke #1
A: Knock. Knock.

B: Who's there?

A: It's customary to say "Hello."

B: It's customary to say "Hello" who?

A: It's customary to say "Hello" when you answer a knock on your door.

B: This is one of those cerebral jokes, right?

A: No, it's more a question of protocol. There's nothing funny about protocol.


Joke #2
A: Knock. Knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Asshole.

B: Asshole who?

A: You.


Joke #3
A: Knock. Knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Your wife.

B: Your wife who?

A: Your wife who lost her house keys.

B: I'm sorry, but I don't have a wife.

A: Honey, listen...

B: She left four years ago, promising never to return.

A: I know, honey. I'm sorry. We have a lot to work out.

B: I don't believe we'll be able to solve all of our problems in one knock knock joke.

A: You're probably right about that.

B: Should we tell another one?

A: I'd like that, yes.


Joke #4
A: Knock. Knock.

B: Who's there?

A: It's still me.

B: It's still me who?

A: It's still me, your estranged wife.

B: The one who left me four years ago, promising never to return?

A: Yeah, that's me.

B: And you think that was just some big knock kncok joke to me?

A: No...

B: I mean, that hurt. I was devastated!

A: I know, I...

B: And you think a couple knock knock jokes will erase that kind of pain?!

A: I just knocked. You're the one who said, "Who's there".

B: Typical... blame it all on me. You're the one who left!

A: Listen, this is not a very good joke any more.

B: Ohhh, I think I know that; I've known that for four years!


Joke #5
A: Knock. Knock.

B: (barely suppressed laughter) That rhymes with "cock cock"!

A: Dude! That's not how the joke goes.

B: (laughter) Oh man! "Goes"... that totally rhymes with "hos"!

A: Knock it off, man!

B: (laughter) You mean, "cock tit soft gland"?

A: (exiting) Fuck this.

B: (laughing and following A) Hey, hey! You meant "duck piss", right?! Right?!


Joke #6
A: Knock. Knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Long...

B: Long who?

A: ...pause.

(B looks confused; A shakes his head sadly)


Joke #7
A: Knock. Knock.

B: (enters talking on cell phone) Hold on... (to A) Who's there?

A: Jujubee

B: (on phone) Yeah... yeah... right, someone's here... I don't know... a jujubee something... yeah, I don't know, never seen him before... yeah, no... no... I'll ask... (to A) Jujubee who?

A: Jujubee talking on the phone when you have a guest at your front door?

B: (on phone) Yeah... did you hear that? Some smart ass... I know... I was... I was, you're right, I was talking to you first... I don't know... I wish I could install Joke-Waiting on my door... yeah, that would really help keep these clowns away... (walks away)


Joke #8
A: Knock. Knock.

(long pause)

A: Knock. Knock.

(long pause)

A: Knock. Knock.

(long pause, A shrugs shoulders and walks away)



Joke #9
A: Knock. Knock. Knock.

B: Wow! Some people really can't tell a joke, can they?