May 27, 2007

Exactly Where My Diabolical Scheme Went Wrong

1. Dogged interference from a rag-tag group of meddling kids.

2. Set timer for 24 hours, although it only took a couple minutes to remove myself from the likely blast radius.

3. Mistakenly poisoned the metropolitan water supply on the day city workers flushed the main water lines.

4. Forget to recharge batteries of nuclear bomb's remote control detonation device.

5. Apparently, I can't fly, and I certainly can't fly stealthily under the cover of night.

6. All-around "Negative Nelly" sort of attitude.

7. Connected positive to positive, negative to nostril.

8. Spent way too much time laughing maniacally.

9. Sinus infection laid me low for a couple days during critical "evil genius" intimidation phase of operation.

10. Hit thumb with hammer. Twice.

11. Egregious costs overruns caused many financial backers to pull out.

12. Committee meetings resulted in too much talking and planning, not enough doing.

13. Didn't really fully "envision" success.

14. For some reason, told superheroes exactly what I was planning.

15. Used mail-order Acme Co. products for all phases of scheme, many did not function as promised.

(Dear Reader: Where have your diabolical schemes gone wrong? Perhaps by sharing some best practices, we can help each other succeed.)

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