March 23, 2007

A Play A Day #343



Setting: Bare stage

(lights up, Man and Woman enter stage right, walking very slowly across the stage throughout the play)

Man: Cinema totally needs to reflect the human condition, or it loses all relevance.

Woman: You assume that thinking about, experiencing, seeing things which are seemingly irrelevant or detached from the human condition is not part of the human condition.

Man: Not in the immediate sense, only by the filter of intellectual processes.

Woman: So, in order for a film to connect, as you say, it has to speak directly to the viewer without trespassing in conscious thought. It must, in the most reductive terms possible, be "of" the viewer.

Man: Essentially, yes. Those are the films we remember.

Woman: Even if we don't think about them?

Man: Especially if we don't think about them.

Woman: Alright. Fine. (pause) Let's say then that I were to make a movie.

Man: A film.

Woman: If it's good enough, a film.

Man: Go on.

Woman: You're saying that, in order for this film to connect with you and me, it would have to be about a brilliant and beautiful young woman who is dating a man so afraid of love, so afraid of connection, so afraid of life that he hides such fears from everyone, even his girlfriend, by entombing all his discussions behind the facade of the most intellectual terms possible, so that even a simple discussion of what movie to go see on a quiet Saturday night becomes an overbearing exploration of the nature of the cinematic arts and human experience?

(beat, they stop)

Man: (realizing he is beaten, says meekly) Ummm, I think what you wanted to see sounds fine.

(they start again)

Woman: Thought so.

(exit, stage left as lights fade out)


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