March 13, 2007

A Play A Day #333



Setting: A comfortable arm chair.

(Lights up, Amber is in arm chair, front edge of stage, talking on a portable phone, George enters about halfway through her line, crossing the stage behind the chair)

Amber: Ohh... I don't know... I don't think I could ever kill my husband.

(George looks toward her with surprise, Amber doesn't see him, lights out quickly)

(lights up, same as before, George entering at the opportune moment again)

Amber: Yeah, yeah, seriously... my husband sleeps naked.

(same as before, lights down)

(lights up, as before)

Amber: No, he's definitely smaller than average. A woman just knows these things.

(same transition, George is crossing more quickly, trying not to overhear anything else; of course, it doesn't work)

Amber: Truly delicious... no, no! It didn't taste like a housecat in the least!

(same transition, George enters at the wrong moment again, he is wearing large earmuffs, but this doesn't work either)

Amber: He keeps his gold coin collection in the basement safe... it's supposed to be a key/combination lock combo, but the key has never worked. You just turn the knob to thirty and whack the right side hard, and it's open!

(same transition, George sneaking a peak, then sprinting across the stage, again it doesn't work)

Amber: ... wet his bed until he was thirteen.

(same transition, another sprint from George, another failure)

Amber: ... wears women's underwear!

(same transition, another sprint, another loss)

Amber: ... failed first grade.

(same transition, another sprint)

Amber: Sure... bye-bye.

(George stops)

George: (nervously) Who was that on the... uhh.. the phone, dear?

Amber: Hmm?

George: The phone. Who were you talking to just now?

Amber: (matter-of-fact) Oh... that. Wrong number. Didn't catch her name.

(lights out)


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