March 13, 2007

A Play A Day #334

Those Words


Setting: Quinn's cubicle in an office farm.

(lights up, Quinn working on his computer, enter Travis)

Travis: (oafish, in Quinn's face and very loud) Hot fucking shit! 'Bout time those douchebags in HR got someone here to replace that assmuncher Corey! Boy, that numb... (Travis's demeanor changes completely, he becomes suave, instantaneously, speaking quietly, in a refined voice, this will be indicated by italics throughout) Consider the thorny rose (and back to his oafish self) ...nuts couldn't find his pecker if it was pissing! Just dumb as a shit stain! Name's Travis, by the way.

(Quinn has been alternately trying to laugh along with Travis, and ducking his head because of the volume of the swearing)

Quinn: Quinn.

T: Don't get many folks names starting with "Q"... hey! Wait just a fuckin' minute, Quinn! Q... that mean that... the palm embraces the crimson beauty only to be breached by several sharp spines're queer?! (pause) Haa! Get it?! 'Cuz a the "Q" and all?!

Q: (trying to laugh) No, no... I'm not gay.

T: Good! Shit! Don't want no fags working around me! I ain't got nothin' 'gainst'em, see, just I'd be worried 'bout ... passion's flower's flashing, flowing down the alabaster wrist ... homos checkin' out my ass!

Q: Oh... ummm...

T: Fuckin' DeAnne in shipping she told me the new guy was here, and I had to stop in say "howdy" before I started signing fucking account receipts all day! I been on vacation past week... didn't do anything, just fuckin' around, nonsense shit like that... You look like you already know how to work that mutherfuckin' 'puter. Bet you been fucking... lightly touched the heart; the soul gives grievance ... with those things since you were just popped from your momma's cunt?! Huh?

Q: Uh... yeah... you know...

T: Not me! Those cocksuckin' machines ain't nailing ol' Travis's balls to the wall!! They are the hands-down, mutherfuckinest, cocksuckinest shit ... The dawn of bliss, the intents of lovers played sharply in morning shadow, the flesh and the dew ...stains on humanity ever invented! Why the fuck do...

Q: (standing up) Listen! (ducking down, realizing he was loud) Travis... I need to get back to work... nice meeting you.

T: (pause) Ohhh... I get it... you're worried about how I'm talking. That's the shit? Fuck! You don't need... candied comforts of me and you, the rhapsodies of time in your two too-perfect eyes ... to worry 'bout that bullshit!

Q: Well... it's just... I'm new, and I don't want people thinking that I'm making you swear so loudly in a crowded office... I mean people are going to wonder... and...

T: What the fuck?! Swearing? With these bitches and ... air flicks the fire skyward, the morsels of its desire fall as ash ... fuckjobs around?! Fuck! (laughing) That's funny! That's a good one, Quinn, my not-queer friend! Real fuckin' funny!

Q: Please... stop... I'm...

T: Shit! It's just how I talk! No fuckin' surprises. People learn what I am; they respect it. Fuck! No... I thought... straight lines tell crooked stories, echoing the wishes of lost loves ... you were talking about my mutherfuckin' disease! Shit!

Q: Disease?

T: Fuck yeah! Sometimes, it's real bad... just random words running outta my mouth... docs tell me my brain misfires, kinda like epilepsy or some shit. Fuck! I don't even... the nature of absence fills the spaces betwixt the dreams ... fuckin' remember what the fuck I say. They recorded me, and I listened once. Shit! Those words sound like nothing, all kinda shit, and that voice don't even sound like me none, either! Nature o' the beast, my friend, ... layered temptations supplant your subtle hues ... nature of the fuckin' beast! Some real embarrassing shit pours outta this mouth!

Q: Well, yeah, I mean I guess I noticed that, but I just figured it was part of your... uhhh... act, or something?

T: Ain't no fuckin' act, pal! It's who the fuck I am! Sorry, so I have fuckin' Tourette's and some fucked-up nonsense words come out of me! Everyone here fuckin' knows it... in stillness, we cry, we discover the secret to forever... Sorry, if it freaks you out 'cause of how fuckin' shit-ass crazy it sounds, but I can't do nothin'...

Q: (interrupting) No! No! No! Travis... those words you say... the ones you don't remember... are... well, they're beautiful. Mysterious... and beautiful.

(long pause)

T: (backing away) Thought you said you weren't queer.

(lights out)


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