January 17, 2007

A Play A Day #279

The Ill-Advised Theater Company Presents

Soldiers 1-4

Setting: The field of battle.


(Loud sounds of explosions and machine gun fire, four soldier stumble on stage, one is being pulled by the other three, he moans and groans throughout the play)

Soldier 1: Get'em in, behind those rocks, now! Now!

(lots of adlib and shouting, they pull make it to the rocks and sit down on the upstage side of the wall, the audience cannot see them)

Soldier 2: What do we do now?

1: We wait. Chopper will be here in five.

Soldier 3: Bean's hurt pretty bad, guys...

2: We know, man, we know... talk to him.

3: You talk; I'm checking the advance.

2: Shit, we're fuckin' dead. Alone, out here... how many of 'em?

3: (who has just peeked over the wall) at least fifty, maybe more.

1: Guys, stay with Bean... we wait for...

2: Fuck! Fifty? Shit! Shit!

1: Hey! Stay with Bean... we've got a chance. We've got enough shit to throw at 'em to cover our asses for...

2: No fuckin' way! We...

1: Shut up, Jones! Shut it!

2: We ain't got a chance... them fuckers are...

1: Shut the fuck up, Jones! We have a chance... it's called the fuck and run...

3: Jones, we gotta do it... we gotta...

1: What other option do we have, Jones?

2: Fuck...

3: The fuck and run.

1: Soon as the chopper's in their range, the grenades go, then the flashbangs... the smoke, then Jones, you drag Bean and we follow in retreat, unloading...

3: The fuck and run.

1: The chopper'll strafe too.

(Chopper sound, coming in)

2: I hear it, guys...

1: Loaded?

3: Set.

2: Close enough?

1: Wait... wait...

3: Fuck and run, boys! Fuck and...

1: Now!

(They stand up, toss grenades into the audience, they explode, killing most of the audience, then flash grenades, then smoke screens, then firing their machine guns blindly into the audince as they back off the stage, killing many more.)


(There is no second scene.)


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