A Couple Days After Tomorrow
Setting: A post-apocalyptic wasteland.
(Lights rise very slowly, swelling in time with depressing dirge music, gray ash covers the stage which itself is covered in rubble and any type of debris, after lights reach full intensity, a man peaks his head in from offstage, looks around, slowly walks toward center stage, looking very tentative at first, picking things up, smelling them, even tasting some of the ash, he moves about taking everything in, then he retreats off from where he came, a short pause then, back on to stage marches the man)
Dad: C'mon, no, check it out, it's pretty cool...
Mom: Look at all the mess.
(Kids are picking things up, murmuring and generally are impressed by the new look of everything)
Dad: Well, yeah, but look out there, dear... it's fine, a lot of things are still where they always were... and look over there, the gas station is still open.
Mom: Good ol' Sam, nothing closes that place down!
Dad: Hey, kids, why don't you run off and find some friends!
(They do, excitedly)
Mom: Look dear! (reaching behind some debris) Fresh daisies!
Dad: Beautiful... see, I told you it wouldn't be that bad.
Mom: Well, I mean, how would we have ever know, we've always been told these horror stories about nuclear war, but... it's really, you know... nice.
Dad: And it's only been, what, three days?
Mom: Three days... hard to believe.
Dad: A little plastic, a little duct tape, and the den made a perfectly serviceable bomb shelter.
Mom: It was fun, lots of candles and board games... like camping with the kids.
Dad: I've missed that with the kids.
Mom: Well, nuclear war really helps you appreciate the true treasures in life, doesn't it?
Dad: Yes it does dear. (they hug and stare heroically toward the audience)
(kids run back on with some new friends, adlibbing excitedly)
Kid 1: Dad, Dad, we found the Applebaums and the Greenbergs, but the Mumfords and the Lindens are gone!
Kid 2: Yeah, we couldn't find'em anywhere!
Kid 3: Did they die, Dad?
Dad: (kneeling down to talk to his kids) I was afraid of this, kids.
Kid 4: What is it?
Dad: (head down) We've been ...... left behind!
Mom: What your father is trying to say, kids, is that the Mumfords and Lindens and all fundamentalist Christians have been taken up... raptured to Heaven at the time of the Apocalypse.
Dad: (starting low, then exploding upward) Hiiiigghhhh Five!!!
(high fives all around, much rejoicing, and excited adlibs)
Dad: (hugging his wife) Oh dear, isn't it wonderful! They're gone! They're finally gone!
Mom: (pointing upward) Thank you, Jesus!
(Lights blink once or twice as Jesus acknowledges his props)
Dad: Alright, kids! Let's go house hunting!
(loud cheers as they march off, overjoyed)
Mom: Who wants a pool?
Dad: Who wants three pools?
(more cheering as lights fade with cheery music swelling)
Wow, the apocalypse sounds too good to be true. When can we start?
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