February 28, 2007

A Play A Day #321

Second Second Chance


Setting: Outside of front door of Stephanie's house.

(Enter Wallace, he walks to the door, knocks, Stephanie opens door)

Wallace: Hey! There you are!

Stephanie: Hi, Wallace! I'm almost ready; just want to get some different earrings.

W: Oh, okay...

S: First date. I want it to be my favorite pair. A little quirk of mine.

W: Yeah, there's no need to bother though... I mean I'm just going to get you really drunk, fuck you in the back seat of my Hyundai, then leave you in the parking lot.

S: (pause, too stunned, not sure that she even understood what he said) Wha... No... no, no, no, you will not! (slams door in his face)

W: (knocking on door a couple times, feebly) Crap...

(starts walking away from door, door opens slowly behind him)

S: Hey... ummm... I really thought you were different, but, against my better judgment, after what you said, I'm going to go out with you tonight, anyway. No alcohol for either of us. Understood.

W: Great! Great! Sure. Sure. Sure.

(they start walking off, together)

W: Even if you're not drunk, I can still fuck you in the car, right?

(S runs back into house)

W: (looking dejected) Man... what the hell?

(starts exiting, door opens a crack behind it, W hears this, turns around)

W: Stephanie! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I don't know what I was saying! Please, let's just go out. No drinking, no sex, I'll bring you back here whenever you want, no questions asked.

S: Why are you acting this way? You're so nice to me at work.

W: Sorry. Sorry. I know. C'mon. Let's go.

S: (steps outside) Alright. Please treat me with respect, Wallace; that's what I've always liked about you. That doesn't have to change just because we are on a date.

W: You're absolutely right, of course. I'm really sorry.

S: Apology accepted. To Allegheri's we go!

W: Oh yeah, about that... can we go out to a pizza place instead?

S: What? Not Allegheri's? It's supposed to be fabulous.

W: And really expensive.

S: Oh. You... you didn't want to spend that much?

W: Well, no... it's just that I'll need the extra cash to pay for a good hooker after I drop you off...

S: You asshole! (hits him, storms into house)

W: (recovering, plaintively moaning toward her door) Since you're not going to put out, is all I meant... you know, it's just a little quirk of mine... (pause) Jeez, some people...

(walks off as lights fade)


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