Know Your Disease
Cast:
Olive
Voice
Gary
Setting: An office, two comfortable chairs, small table, bookshelf and desk with desk chair.
(Lights up, Olive is on the phone)
Olive: Yes... obviously I want what's best for James... I always have.... No... no... no... it's... no... no, but why... but why would we want to continue with... because you just said that you wanted to...
I understand... right... but you said you wanted it to continue and you know, you know, it can't... Thank you... yes, Paul, of course, yes... yes, I loved you... why do I have to keep saying that... you know, no. Paul... Paul... Paul... Paul... Paul! Stop! Alright... no... yes, you have every right to speak, and I have every right to tell you not to; so just stop! No... No... that doesn't even make sense... Paul... yes, I care... I care a lot! I seem to recall that you were the one who forgot how to care, or who to care for!
Don't start? Don't start?! You called me, Paul! You called me at my work to start this... to... yes, and now... with that too... these accusations... accusing me! ME! of all the things you did!
Oh, don't you just know it?! Yes! You were the one coming home at five in the morning! I was putting James to bed... where's my husband? Where's Daddy? That's all he asked... that was it... and I knew! I knew! That little question from a four year old boy was what tripped it in my mind... what cut through the denial... yes... yes... I knew, I knew, I knew I knew for a long time, but James said that... he said that and I finally had to confess it to myself... and... no... no... and I knew what the answer was... but how... how do you tell your four year old that Daddy is fucking the checkout girl from the liquor store?!!
Bullshit! You know I hardly drank at the time, but you kept coming home with more and more liquor... you know... yeah... that was kind of a clue, Paul. How many bottles of fancy wine did you need to pretend to buy for me?
Because... because... you don't know a damn thing about wine, Paul... you drink... you only drink crappy beer... yeah... Paul... I don't even like wine! I never have! You knew that... you knew that for eight years... then suddenly there's wine. Everywhere.... 'Oh let's try this new Merlot' (she pronounces this mur-laht with the 't') ... no... yes, I know it's pronounced mer-low, I said mer-laht because that's what you said, that's how you pronounced it!
Right... trying to impress the checkout girl with your oh-so-refined tastes... she must have gone all googly with your extensive knowledge of mer-lahts and rice-lings... You know what? You know what? ... No, because it was so typical of your operating style... you pretend... you make up a life that you don't lead to impress women who would never want to lead your real life with you.
I do not care if other men lie to cute girls! I don't care! I don't care if every fucking man in the worl lie to cute girls to make themselves look more desirable! That's fine! Women do the same thing all the time. It's called make-up. ... but... but... would you... no, just... just listen... listen... I was not married to every fucking man in the world. I was married to you, and you were just fucking my world.
Eight years... a baby and eight years, Paul, and I loved you... I loved you... I supported your crazy dreams... your worthless "art" ... your so-called careers... I did that. I did it all for you...
You said you were going out for Brandy... hmmm... yeah... then two hours later you were home... yeah... a very long time to go twenty blocks... but... in the bag was another bottle of mer-laht! No... yeah... more wine... more wine, Paul... truth is, you were going out for Brandy, you were going in and out for Brandy all the time... but you never brought Brandy home.
You... WHAT! You pig!! You absolute horrible pig! ... Fine.. fine... rub it in! Yeah! Big thrill!! Piss off the ex-wife! Fine! Fine!! Whatever! So you fucked her in our bed! ... ohhhh, and our tub? Yes... ohh, you're such a big man!! You know what!? You know what!? I don't care if my underwear was too small for her... you're so pathetic! Fine... so you fucked a fattie! ... I hope she felt something for you too... just probably wasn't between her big fat legs...
Just shut up!! ... Shut! Up!! Damnit!! ... Fuck you! ... You.... YOU FUCKING LOUSY BASTARD!! FUCK YOU!! No! You wouldn't dare! ... Don't even...!!
(long pause, she seethes into the phone, she starts in low and gradually gets more and more ludicrously angry)
You... you just called me out, and now you're going to suffer the consequences... that went so far beyond the pale that no court in the land would convict me for what I'm going to do to you! I could sue you, but that would be too slow, and too public... you need to be taken down!! First, the dick comes off!! I know a lot of people with a lot of connections, Paul, and you just signed your death warrant!! Then a small razor blade cut, one cut somewhere on your body for every miserable person who buys a copy or sees it online... I will!! You cannot fuck with this woman!! No you can't!! I will destroy you!! No one will miss you!!! Brandy left months ago!! I know!! I had a friend ask around. You've got nothing! NOTHING!! YOU ARE GOING TO BE DISAPPEARED! POOF!! I'll find a new Daddy for James!! I will tell him you never fucking existed!!! He's too young to really remember! Don't sleep too soundly!! You... filthy... !!!!!
(she slams down the phone into the cradle repeatedly, she stops, screams into her hands, phone beeps)
Voice: Your 1:30 is here.
Olive: (measured voice) Send him in.
(Olive composes herself with almost no effort at all, she is, effectively, a brand new person in a matter of seconds)
(Enter Gary. Olive stands up greets him with a gracious handshake, they sit in the two comfortable chairs)
Olive: (with genuine compassion and empathy) Gary? You don't look so well... is that an accurate thing for me to say to start our session today?
Gary: I've just... I've been so angry this past week, you know?
Olive: Well, it's natural to get angry; do you know how to handle your anger appropriately?
Gary: Not really; that's one of the reasons I come to you.
Olive: We'll work on that, but, first, it will help me if you could tell me what you think is behind your anger.
Gary: Ummm... well... I never told you this before... but... well... I met this girl in a liquor store a couple months ago.
Olive: Oh?
Gary: My wife just found out about her on Monday.
Olive: Tell me more about this? Why has this made you angry?
Gary: Well, my wife is being so unreasonable about the whole thing. I mean, come on...
Olive: (with a slight chuckle) Ohhh, women....
(lights out)
(end)
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