December 12, 2006

A Play A Day #243

Put Up


Setting: A fountain.

(Aaron sits on the edge of a fountain in the city square. Dana enters. Looks around for a while, notices him and approaches)

Dana: Hi! You must be Aaron. (shaking hands) I'm Aaron... no! No! Ohmigod! (surprised, laughing to herself) Whoopsie, did I just say my name was Aaron, too? Wow! Not what I meant to say at all! I'm Dana. I meant... you're Aaron, I'm Dana.

Aaron: Dana?

D: Yes, yes, yes... not Aaron! You're Aaron, right?

A: Right. I'm Aaron.

D: I thought so; I recognized you from your profile picture.


D: Is something wrong?

A: (Aaron never has any cruel intent, his words are plain, delivered straight) I sort of recognize you from your picture too, but you looked a lot cuter in that picture than you do in prson.

D: Yes, it was a professional photo from a couple years ago. I had a perm then.

A: Right. I liked the perm. It framed your face better.

D: I liked it to, but I also like to experiment with different hairstyles.

A: Why? Do you like to see which will make you look awkward?

D: I enjoy trying new things; it's the only way to discover your true place in the world.

A: Even if it makes you uglier?

D: Sure. Ugly is very subjective, of course, which is somehing I keep in mind as I test out different things.

A: Yes, ugly is subjective. Unfortunately for you, I'm the subject you need to impress right now, and I find the difference in your appearance to be rather shocking... almost as if you had been intentionally trying to lure me toward you with an unrepresentative projection of yourself.

D: It's important to make a good first impression online.

A: Isn't it also important to make a good first impression when meeting someone?

D: Sure is. I try to do both.

A: I am judging you harshly.

D: Yes, you are, but I prefer to see it as constructive criticism.

A: Great! Should we head to the movie?

D: Yes.

A: Okay, "Poison Ax" sound good to you?

D: Okay.

A: What? You don't want to see "Poison Ax", do you?

D: I belive in watching all types of films, of course, but I have to admit that it wasn't the first thing I thought of when you mentioned seeing a movie.

A: What did you want to see?

D: I was hoping for "Bandits Of My Heart".

A: Well, that's entirely too sappy and emotional. I'd rather not feel emotionally vulnerable around you until after we make out and/or have sex.

D: You really like to think things out, I guess. You know, "Poison Ax" might work for me. I nver know until I rty, right?

A: Excellent.

D: Great. Then supper after the movie? And dancing?

A: If I'm feeling more inclined toward you sexually, then we can decide about supper and dancing.

D: At least you're giving me a chance!

A: Yes, I guess I am. It's always wise for a man to give a woman a chance, even if he's not initially attracted to her. The opportunity for sex should never be passed by, and he may find out that he actually likes her, although, in the present case, I don't feel that will be possible.

D: There's always a chance.

A: Yes. Yes, there is. Even a very, very slim chance is still a chance.

D: True. Do you want to take my car? (points offstage toward the car)

A: You drive a Plymouth?

D: Yes.

A: My God. I would not like to take your car. I have a Jaguar. Let's take that. I have a lot of money, and I'd rather not be seen in such a poor vehicle.

D: I like my little Plymouth. It's treated me well for seven years, and it's going to keep on going for seven more if I can help it.

A: Well, thank God I didn't tell you to meet me at my house. That kind of car would be looked at quite harshly in Totally Honest Estates.

D: You live in Totally Honest Estates? Wow! Some nice houses there. I'm not far away actually.

A: Where do you live?

D: About a block from the Boulevard Of Sunny Optimism.

A: Nice neighborhood. Wouldn't expect to see such a bad-looking car around there.

D: Well, that's where me and the Plymouth live.

A: Nice people?

D: Always.

(they start walking off, lights fading)


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