June 1, 2008

Dark Stormy Night Rewrites

In which attempts are made to rewrite the classic opening line - well, the classic beginning of the much longer original opening line from 1830 - "It was a dark and stormy night..."

1. The night was dark as night; it stormed.

2. The night stormed with darkness.

3. It was a dark and stormy night; 'it' being the night which, as we have established, was both dark and stormy.

4. Batman, the Dark Knight, stormed into his office.

5. 'Twas the dark and stormy night before Christmas, and, all through the house, not a creature was stirring drinks, 'cept for the souse.

6. That area of earth, having rotated out of the sun's direct or indirect rays, and the attendant temperature and barometric swing having escorted in a low pressure cell of gravest magnitude resulting in heavy precipitation and strong, straight-line winds, had fallen into night, and it was a dark and stormy night indeed.

7. Holy shit, is it ever a dark and stormy night!

8. The night was filled with darkness, also storminess.

9. It was a dark and stormy night, but not as stormy as that one night 'bout five years back - now that was a stormy night!

10. Dark night, stormy.

11. It was not a bright and sunny day.

12. To introduce our winner of Ms. Dark and Stormy Night 2008, please welcome to our stage, Mr. Tom Wopat!

13. The night posed a 40% chance or dark with a 70% chance of increasing stormy.

14. It was a dark and stormy night, like all other nights at base station Zero on the Dark Storm Moon of Thexar-Rikili.

15. Light was certainly hard to come by on that stormy night.

16. It was a dark and stormy night thing; you wouldn't understand.

17. Night begone! I prefer not either your darkness or storminess!

18. It was a dark and stormy night for making dark and stormy love.

19. It was a poorly lit and inclement evening.

20. It can be so dark and stormy, especially at night, when it's raining.

21. It was a dark and stormy night, until I opened my eyes and stepped out of the shower.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's been a few years (20 +), but #6 reminds me of Moby Dick...