June 12, 2008

Brendon Writes 4 Variations of Monty Python's Dead Parrot Sketch: #1

You all know the sketch. If you don't, watch.

I now strive to re-imagine that particular bit of comic history in my own way. Four separate posts.


CUSTOMER: Hello. I'd like to register a complaint.


C: This parrot is dead.

S: Yes.

C: And... ?

S: Ummm... I'm sorry about that.

C: And... ?

S: Did you want us to do something about that, sir?

C: I would like you to replace the bird with a live one.

S: Sir, we don't sell birds.

C: Yes, I know that.

S: This is an office supply superstore.

C: I know that.

S: So, I... well, I know there's a veterinarian down the block, and I'm sure...

C: A vet isn't going to help now.

S: Probably not, no, but perhaps she could recommend a pet burial service.

C: For what? This?

S: Yes, the parrot.

C: This isn't my pet.

S: Oh. Whose pet is it?

C: It's mine, but it's not my pet.

S: Uhh...

C: It's my stapler.

S: Wha...

C: Was my stapler, until it died.

S: Sir?

C: Now I need a new one.

S: Sorry, sir, we're fresh out of that model.

C: Well, do you have any staples that might fit in my hamster?


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