Setting: The gallows. Tad has just dropped through the doors, where he now swings by his neck, yet is, somehow, able to talk.
(Cynthia enters, she's walking and reading, or something, sees Tad, who has been coyly trying to avoid her notice.)
Cynthia: Tad? Tad? Is that you?
Tad: Wha... oh, hi, Cynthia!
C: Wow! It's been a long time!
T: About three years, yeah!
C: Yeah, three years... sooo, how have you been?
T: Alright! Doing just fine!
C: Great... hey, you look good! Of course, you always did!
T: Ah geez, thanks, Cynthia!
C: How do you stay so thin? You know, I just feel like I've ballooned lately...
T: You? No! No... nonsense. You look great, pretty much exactly like I remember you!
C: Ohhh, you're just saying that...
T: No, no... you look like you haven't aged a bit.
C: Gee, thanks, Tad... you always were so sweet. There's something different about you though.... (to herself) what is it...
T: Ummm... well...
C: Wait, I know! New shoes!
T: True, true! Thanks for noticing!
C: I like them!
T: Standard prison issue...
C: Well, they look so good on you.
T: Thank you, I...
C: Wait, where are your glasses? You used to wear glasses; I'm almost sure of that.
T: Yes, I... I did used to wear glasses...
C: Small round ones?
T: That's so sweet, you remember!
C: Well, how could I forget you, Tad?
T: Oh... Cynthia. I've missed you.
C: You were very memorable; if you remember the past like I remember the past!
T: Oh... I remember... I'll always remember you.
C: You serious? What a nice thing to say to a lonely girl.
T: You? Lonely?
C: Well, things have really gone down hill since we broke things off.
T: I find that very hard to believe, Cynthia.
C: It's true! It's true... I got a little bit of a reputation... after... after you.
T: Sorry about that.
C: It's o.k., I'm sooo passed that now, but a lot of men aren't... it's a hard thing to shake.
T: I'll bet, listen... you know, I'm sorry. I never really got to say that.
C: Ahhh, don't worry about it; it's in the past. It's been bumpy at times, but, you know, there's always some sort of deliverance waiting at the end of the line.
T: I know all about that! (laughs at his own joke)
C: So, Tad, what have you been up to?
T: Well, mainly, hiding from arrest - that didn't last long - getting arrested, going to trial, getting sentenced to death, appealling, getting my appeal rejected, pleading for clemency from the Governor, waiting for execution, getting executed. Stuff like that.
C: Wow! You have been busy!
T: Well, it's good to have work!
C: So, you know the Governor?
T: I guess, in a way.
C: Very cool.
T: You've been... doing what, then?
C: Well, just you know, trying to reconnect with friends, family.... trying to find that special someone.
C: I thought that would be you once, Tad.
T: Yeah... I know.
C: Then you stabbed me so much I died.
T: Shot myself in the foot with that kind of behavior...
C: But, then I came back to life! Right there on the operating table!
T: Right! That's what I thought. You know when I left you out there in the woods, I thought to myself, and I mean this now, she's not really dead. She'll make it through!
C: Awwww... that's so kind...
T: (choking up a bit) And you did! I was... just... just... so proud of you!
C: (also getting misty) Awww... Tad... thank you... thank you for believing in me.
T: But, your Dad was the doctor who saved you...
C: And he wanted you to be punished for what you did; so he staged that mock funeral and everything.
T: He just has all the right connections.
C: Yeah, Dad's great that way.
T: Sure. Good guy! Looking out for his baby... who wouldn't?
C: I had to spend a couple years in the basement...
T: Yeah, I'll bet, you wouldn't seem very dead, if you were just out walking around! (laughs at his little joke)
C: (also laughing) Exactly, that's what Dad kept telling me too. Tad, I'm really sorry I didn't show up at your trial, you know, to tell people I wasn't dead.
T: Hey, hey, don't worry about it!
C: Probably would've helped you, huh?
T: Maybe, hard to say... you know, don't feel bad about it.
C: You know, Tad, when you weren't stabbing me in a blind rage, you were always so good to me.
T: Well, thank you, Cynthia, and when you weren't sleeping with my three best friends, you were great to be with.
C: Thanks... sorry about your friends.
T: Yeah, sorry about getting all knifey.
C: Actually, my Dad says the fact that I'd passed out from you strangling me probably saved my life... so thank you for that.
T: Ohhh, it was nothing, really; you know how much I always cared about you.
C: Yes... I do...(pause) Well, I've got to get going. I've got a first date.
T: Sure, sure, don't let me keep you. Good luck with that.
C: I have to convince yet another man that I'm not actually dead or a whore.
T: Hey! You tell this guy from me, that you aren't, on both counts, and I oughta know! (laughter all around)
C: Maybe... if my date doesn't work out... I could call you sometime?
T: Sure, I'd like that.
(lights start fading)
C: (walking toward him tentatively, giving him a little peck on the cheek) Nice talking to you, Tad. (she exits)
T: (looking up, he is hoarse with emotion, and starting to cry) I'll never wash that spot again, as long as I live.