Falling Star
Cast:
Doreen
Loden
Setting: Table, 2 chairs, Loden is sitting, in walks Doreen, notices him.
Doreen: Oh my God... it's... ummm... aren't you... Loden Planks?
Loden: (charming) Yes.
Doreen: The actor?
Loden: Yes.
Doreen: From California?
Loden: Yes.
Doreen: You were in that... movie... with um... that one guy... with the face...
Loden: Yes. I was.
Doreen: You were so energetic; it was insane!
Loden: Thank you.
Doreen: How do you do that... all that energy?
Loden: (still charming) Cocaine.
Doreen: (not really listening of course) I heard you did all your own stunts!
Loden: Yes.
Doreen: That must have hurt a lot!
Loden: Yes.
Doreen: How'd you do that?
Loden: Demerol.
Doreen: I saw you on that TV show, and you were such a drunken slob though...
Loden: Yes.
Doreen: I didn't even know it was you until the credits. How'd you do that character?
Loden: Alcohol.
Doreen: Then you were on Oprah, and you were so nice and lovable.
Loden: Thank you.
Doreen: That must be your real personality, right?
Loden: Ecstacy.
Doreen: Wow! And here you are! I can't believe it! You're so smooth and relaxed! How do you do that?
Loden: Xanax.
Doreen: (fumbling for paper, pen) Can I get your autograph?
Loden: Yes.
Doreen: (giving him paper and pen) Thank you so much!
Loden: You're welcome.
Doreen: Are you doing a film in town?
Loden: Just finished.
Doreen: Cool! What was your part?
Loden: Crazed, insomniac serial killer.
Doreen: Neat! How do you do that?
Loden: Crystal Meth; acid kicker.
Doreen: I can't wait to tell my friends! Ohh... can I get a picture with you to proove that I met you? (pulling out a digital camera)
Loden: Sure.
Doreen: (leaning faces close together, she snaps picture of them) Great! Thanks so much! (looks at picture on camera's view screen) Oh... wait.... I took the picture wrong, I can see myself, but you must be out of the frame, can I take it again... sorry...
Loden: Sure.
(they snap picture again)
Doreen: There, that should be just per... (seeing screen of camera) um... no... weird... the light must be blocking.. or the zoom is too close... or... ummm... ahhh...
Loden: Could be that I'm dead.
Doreen: (laughter) Right! You're so funny too! I really can't wait...
Loden: I died this morning.
Doreen: So do you mind if I just get a shot of you; that should work, I'll bet...
Loden: No, it won't. I died upstairs, in this hotel, this morning.
Doreen: What?
Loden: Dead. I'm dead.
Doreen: How'd you do that?
Loden: Heroin.
Doreen: Oh.
Loden: Well, nice meeting you...?
Doreen: Oh... Doreen.
Loden: Doreen... nice to meet you.
Doreen: Uhh... sorry... I'm sorry... about your... death.
Loden: Ahh... don't worry about it.
Doreen: It's just that I didn't know...
Loden: Of course you didn't. (getting up) Well, I'd better get going.
Doreen: Where?
Loden: (crossing toward exit) Don't know... wander around...
Doreen: Oh.
Loden: (turning back, just as he's about to exit) Say, Doreen? Make sure you tell everyone that I never learned to act.
Doreen: Why?
Loden: It'll all make sense then.
Doreen: But you won an Oscar.
Loden: Exactly.
(exits, lights fade on Doreen as she sits down and looks at the autograph)
(end)
No comments:
Post a Comment