September 14, 2006

A Play A Day #154

The Lazes


Setting: Inside, two bean bag chairs, two extremely-casually dressed twenty-something guys are completely melted into them, they don't really move when talking, they are static.

Weir: Whadya wanna do?

Plunk: I dunno.

W: Hang out.

P: Yeah.

W: Here just.

P: Yeah.

W: Hang.

P: Good.

W: Yeah.

P: 'Right.

W: Yeah.

P: Hangin'.

W: That, yeah.

P: What do you wanna do?

W: Uhhh... I dunno.

P: Cool.

W: Yeah.

P: Hang out.

W: I guess.

P: Yeah.

W: Just sittin'.

P: Yeah, right.

W: Sittin'.

P: Here, yeah.

W: Bean bag.

P: Love bean bags.

W: Why not.

P: Yeah. Bean bags.

W: Beans.

P: In bags.

W: Genius.

P: Sittin' on beans.

W: They're not chairs though.

P: Bags.

W: What if they were bean chairs?

P: Uhhh... stupid.

W: I guess.

P: Good thing they're not real beans.

W: What?

P: The bean bags.

W: Why's it good?

P: The weight, man.

W: Yeah.

P: Heavy.

W: Yeah, heavy.

P: Yep.

W: Like three hundred pounds.

P: What?

W: The bags like three hundred.

P: No, no, not even close.

W: Four hundred?

P: No, man, like sixty, eighty pounds max.

W: I was thinking of heavy beans.

P: Sure, I suppose.

W: Sixty pounds.

P: Eighty, max.

W: Yeah.

P: Love'em.

W: Stretch out.

P: Sleep in 'em all the time.

W: Keep'em outta the sun though.

P: Yeah, wake up in a sweat pond.

W: Could drown.

P: Dangerous.

W: Damn straight.

P: Killers.

W: Bean bag murderers.

P: The ol' sweat death.

W: Good one.

P: Thanks.

W: So, whadya wanna do?

P: Uhh... nothing.

W: Yeah, cool enough.

P: Maybe...

W: Yeah.

P: Origami.

W: What?

P: Origami.

W: Origami?

P: Origami, yeah.

W: What about it?

P: You asked what'd I wanna do.

W: Yeah, just hangin'.

P: Yeah, but now, it's origami.

W: Really?

P: Yeah, origami.

W: Now?

P: Yeah, you got paper?

W: Sure, maybe... somewhere.

P: Good, need paper.

W: Yeah.

P: It's like funny paper folding.

W: Yeah, I know.

P: Make all kindsa shit.

W: Yeah, I know.

P: Like a frog, box you can blow up.

W: Yeah, I know, it's paper folding.

P: Real fancy though.

W: Right.

(long pause)

P: Didya get any paper?

W: What?

P: Paper?

W: Yeah, no.

P: Oh, you should.

W: What kind?

P: I dunno.

W: Me either.

P: Never done it before.

W: Ohh... I thought...

P: Nahh... I just thought you asked what'd I wanna do I thought some of that Japanese paper folding stuff.

W: Origami.

P: Seems neat.

W: Yeah.

P: I don't know how to do it, though.

W: Yeah, me either, paper folding...

P: But, you know me, always trying new things.

W: So, something else?

P: Something else?

W: Besides origami, to do?

P: Ohhh. Besides origami?

W: Yeah, we can't do that.

P: Geez, man, what else is there?

W: Uhhh... lotsa things, probably.

P: Yeah? Like?

W: Ummm... we could watch TV.

P: Nahh... too boring.

W: Right... it is.

P: We are much more exciting than TV.

W: Yeah... much.

P: A lot.

W: That too.

P: We could like hang out...

W: And stuff...

P: Cards?

W: Cards? Like... ummm, poker?

P: Yeah, but we need more than two people.

W: Probably.

P: We can play, but it's not gonna be fun.

W: Let's not do it then.

P: Yeah, screw that.

W: Swimming?

P: Where?

W: Some water.

P: Which water?

W: The lake.

P: Too cold.

W: Or the river?

P: Too cold.

W: The pool?

P: Your pool?

W: Yeah.

P: I didn't bring any swin trunks.

W: Just go in your boxers.

P: I don't wear boxers.

W: Well...

P: No way, man. Too gay.

W: Yeah, right.

P: Not doing it.

W: Sure. You could borrow one of my swim suits.

P: Ditto.

W: Sure.

P: We could drink.

W: What, like alcohol, drink?

P: Yeah, beer.

W: Nah, not a good idea.

P: No.

W: We gotta finish that wall today.

P: Your old man get pretty pissed, huh?

W: No doubt.

P: Bad enough you still living here and all.

W: So when the colonel says "Go", I go.

P: Makes sense.

W: Pretty sweet deal I got here.

P: No kidding, nice house, your old room back.

W: No rent.

P: You're just living off the parents.

W: I help out a lot.

P: You better, man.

W: So, you think the paint's dry yet?

P: Dunno.

W: I'm gonna check.

(W gets up, sloughs offstage, long pause, comes back on, lays down again)

P: Still wet?

W: Yeah, kinda sticky.

P: Alright.

(long pause, lights start fading very slowly)

W: So, whadya wanna do?

P: I dunno, what do you wanna do?

W: Dunno, man.

P: Cool.

W: Hang out, I guess.

P: Yeah, we tried everything else.

W: Origami.

P: Swimming.

W: Cards.

P: Drinking.

P: Crazy day, man.

W: Insane.

P: Just sorta...

W: Hang out.

P: Yeah.

W: Take a break, ya know?

P: Yeah. A break.

W: Everyone just needs a break.

P: Yep. Just hangin'.

W: That's it.

P: Course it is.

(lights out)


No comments: