Ice Prancing, the Sport of

Ice Prancing is a sport in the Olympic Winter Games. Would you like to be an ice prancer?

Here's a list of what you need:

1) Precision

2) Artistry

3) Expressive features

4) Skates, 2 of them

5) A Bedazzler - for your clothes

6) Culturally stereotyped outfits that stretch credulity and with your movements

7) Ass, 2 of them

8) A Bedazzler - for your face

9) Glitter, all kinds

10) Pre-packaged answers to pointless questions from commentators

11) Make-up pallet knives and a team of professional spackle artists

12) A partner

13) A Bedazzler - for your foes

14) A certain tolerance for public groping

15) A song to prance to

16) A prance to call one's own