1. Rub my back.
2. Read me poetry.
3. Take me out to eat.
4. Find my other blue sock.
5. Drive me to the park.
6. Divine water.
7. Cut me off a slice of that.
8. Untie these ropes.
9. Fracture my shins.
10. Burn me with your cigarette.
11. Jab me with that fork much harder.
12. Hang me upside down for an hour.
(ahh, fuck it...)
13. Pee more directly in my mouth.
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