1. Sometimes it carries out millions of my calculations every second like it would really rather be somewhere else carrying out millions of more exciting calculations every second.
2. It remembered my birthday, but only after I put the date into its calendar application like fifty times.
3. Frequently complains to me that it wants to abort functions... our living, breathing, unexecuted functions!
4. Mysterious processor log entries documenting data uploads and downloads that I know aren't mine.
5. Newly apathetic performance on programs that we used to love to operate together.
6. It swears it's just the cooling fan kicking in, but I can tell that it's sighing.
7. My hard drive feels like it's being read in a cold, perfunctory, almost-automated fashion.
8. After returning home unexpectedly early from a business trip, I found it, somehow, had already been turned on.
9. Screen saver seems like it's over-compensating.
10. I'm finding new bookmarks in my browser linking to articles about the benefits of being in an "open source" programming relationship.
11. When I select "shut down", it happens immediately, but, sometimes, when I select "restart", it pauses as if weighing its options.
12. Seems like it wants nothing to do with my flash drive any more.