June 19, 2007

Before Abracadabra: Incantatory Words That Didn't Deliver True Magical Heft

Before the word "abracadabra" came along, magic and sorcery sputtered. Practitioners struggled for centuries with various formations of syllables before finding the perfect combination of sounds to add the needed zip to their spells, curses and charms. After extensive research, I compile here, for the first time, an exhaustive listing of other, less-successful words and phrases that witches, wizards and warlocks employed.

1. pipipipopadoo

2. ollyollyincomefree

3. thisbetterfuckingworkthistime

4. boo... boo... boo... (repeat until effect has been achieved)

5. kablooey

6. colposinquanoniatibialoconcupiscent

somethingsomething or something else

8. poopybuttfacehead

suckmydeathydeath (dark magic practitioners only)

10. boutrosboutrosghali


12. zenzizenzizenzicality

13. thisspellbroughttoyoubypepsi (never really worked, but magician got reimbursed for the product placement)


15. shablammo

16. whatsthefrequencykenneth

17. magicalwordsmagicalwords

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