June 8, 2007

Important Reasons Why You Must Stop Having Sex Right Now

1. Scientists have linked sex with children. You must stop linking sex with children, pervert.

2. A customer just walked in the front door of the bakery.

3. You can only remain underwater for a few seconds at a time.

4. The director said "cut."

5. Just like epilepsy and paranoid schizophrenia, it may lead to frighteningly uncontrolled muscle spasms and vocalizations.

6. Because chances are good your cellmate is not truly your soulmate.

7. He only paid for a twenty-minute session.

8. Need to reframe the shot and make sure the flash is on.

9. Ran out of batteries.

10. Must get in line for holy communion.

11. Your "girlfriend" popped.

12. May cause an outbreak of painful childbirth in men and women everywhere.

13. Excessive blistering.

14. While the third time's the charm, the three hundred and thirty-third is somewhat less so.

15. If you stop now, you may still be a semi-virgin.

16. Because that's not what the zoo needs volunteers for.

1 comment:

jacob said...

just because you find them attractive, does not mean the rest of the Mall-goers do.

because you're related. Sick Fuck.