1. Batters get four strikes, but pitchers get a second ball.
2. Last twenty feet of baseline before each base covered with an operational Slip-n-Slide.
3. Runners who successfully steal a base no longer subject to felony theft charges.
4. Beer vendors allowed on field during game; players get voucher for one free bottle per inning.
5. Warning track must be made out of Flubber.
6. Pop flies subject to remote control by instantaneous majority of fans.
7. Second, deeper-outfield fence for special 3-point home run.
8. Each team allowed to place one invisible space-time wormhole anywhere on playing surface.
9. Mandated synchronized crotch scratching before each pitch.
10. Players who collect at least four hits in a game may then execute their special Power-Up move, except, of course, up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-start.
11. If hit by a pitch, pitcher must remove glove and attempt to dodge one free throw from batter.
12. Players are each allowed one "do-over" per game.
13. By pre-game agreement of both teams, one inning per game may be played on horseback.
14. If ejected from game, managers are then allowed to kick dirt on three-umpire appeals court.