June 5, 2007

Seven Habits of Highly Effective Superheroes

1. Daily calisthenics including at least three (3) laps around the Earth at an easy, not-noticeably-effecting-the-planet's-natural-rotation pace.

2. Envision self as conduit for fulfilling, positive energy. Also, for gamma rays.

3. Set reasonable, measurable goals: Don't think about saving the Earth, as intelligent people can disagree about what exactly qualifies as "saving". Instead shoot for a more concrete goal like decreasing the number of dastardly episodes in your metropolis by ten percent (10%) over the next two (2) week period.

4. Grapefruit.

5. Remain flexible: It may be the scheduled time to thwart the supervillian's nefarious machinations, but, if his Doomsday device is not yet completed, then you'd better have a back-up activity to tackle while you wait.

6. Think positively: Don't tell yourself "Must... push... button!" instead say "Will... push... button!"

7. Delegate tasks; don't try to do everything. Chances are that your sidekick can handle a lot of the paperwork that goes along with vanquishing evil.


jacob said...

8: Be sure to surround yourself by simutaneously useful, but expendable people. When the evil genius invades your base, the evil minions will be distracted, allowing you to get into an epic battle with the genius himself.

David said...

9. Solitude, Fortress of: Consider making a private area where you can take off your mask, flame off, and just relax for a bit. Remember, even Superman needed some alone time.