June 27, 2007

Radical Steps for Lessening My Carbon Footprint on This Earth

1. Now walking exclusively on my hands.

2. Ridding all carbon from my life in a massive bonfire.

3. Teleporting all my trash to parallel-universe-Earth.

4. Sealing all trees around me in polyurethane to prevent the soil from being over-carboned.

5. Now grilling with magnesium briquettes only.

6. Pushing car wherever I go.

7. Eliminating carbon from my diet.

8. Reducing risk of producing dangerously carbon-based offspring by having sex with vinyl women only.

9. No longer defecating.

3 comments:

ShOI said...

10. Standing in front of wind turbines all day and blowing really hard.

ShOI said...

11. Freezing Han Solo in ordinary ice instead of environmentally-unfriendly carbonite.

Bleeet said...

Excellent additions!

I especially like #10, because I've done that before. I really have. I can only begin to guess how much energy I saved in each breath.