Other Things Big Ethanol Will Do to Bridgewater Township in Addition to Suing Them

1. Take their ball and go home and never let the township have another sleepover again.

2. Remind it of the massive problems the township will have ridding itself of the deadly corn plant.

3. Never, ever call.

4. Tell all the other energy industries in the locker room that they totally banged the township.

5. Remove the township from its MySpace friends list.

6. Hire a phalanx of lawyers to intimidate and threaten the township into realizing what a good corporate citizen they would be.

7. Put its hands on its hips, stick out its bottom lip and stomp its foot petulantly.

8. Follow the township's little sister home from school making lewd and suggestive comments.

9. Pretend they like the township's tater tot hotdish, then tell it that Greenvale Township's is actually much hotdishier.

10. Offer to put the development of an ethanol refinery to a final vote of residents conducted on impartial Archer Daniels Midland voting machines.

11. Invite the township to a huge party but tell it that the party's on Saturday, when really it's on Friday.

12. Call the township's mother and tell on it.