While I've duly established that I have bountiful love for all of my creatures, there are people that I find it necessary to hate.
I know all too well that hate paralyzes society's present and condemns its future; so I hate, not out of hate, but instead out of animus, extreme disrespect, and generalized loathing.
I steer clear of hate, except when absolutely vital to serve my interests and the interests of my campaign.
It would be very, very time consuming to list all of my enemies here by name; instead, I am electing (good word!) to list the logical means by which someone - anyone really - could potentially be considered among my enemies.
I find that configuring the list this way allows for the hate to flow more naturally - shrinking or expanding in real time as people enter or leave any of the groups described below.
This is crucial because, if there's one thing hate cannot abide, it is being constrained from hating in an open, affirming and inclusive manner.
Hate hates that.
So, in the spirit of letting my hate run free to hate as hate must, I present the following people who must consider themselves as part of my enemies list:
1. My enemies
2. Friends of my enemies
3. Friends of friends of my enemies
4. Facebook or MySpace friends of my enemies
5. People not observing my love-embargo with my enemies
6. Parents of my enemies
7. Friends of parents of my enemies
8. Parents of friends of my enemies
9. Friends of parents of friends of my enemies
10. Enemies of my friends
11. Friends of enemies of my friends
12. Friends of friends of enemies of my friends
13. Friends of friends of enemies of my friends of friends
14. The New York Yankees
15. The parents of the friends of my enemies of my friends
16. All other relatives of my enemies
17. The friends of all other relatives of my enemies
18. My other enemies
19. People who own or operate restaurants or stores where my enemies eat or shop
20. People who work at restaurants or stores where my enemies eat or shop
21. Friends and relatives of people who work at or own or operate restaurants or stores where my enemies eat or shop
22. Pets of my enemies
23. People who live too close to my enemies or the places where they or their friends or their relatives eat or shop or go to school or worship or loiter.
24. People who eat or shop at restaurants or stores who also feed or serve my enemies or the friends of my enemies or the relatives of my enemies or my other enemies
25. Pets of my friends
26. Any mechanical or electrical device used by my enemies or the friends of my enemies or the relatives of my enemies or those who sold or fixed those devices
27. Enemies of the friends of the friends of the enemies of my enemies
28. That one guy
29. Pets of the pets of my enemies
30. People who are not Facebook friends of my friends or my Facebook friends
31. Plants of my enemies
32. Friends of the plants of my enemies
33. People who are not with us
34. Plants of that one guy
36. Friends of the parents of the pets of the plants of my Facebook enemies
37. Most of southern California
38. Portions of my enemies and their relatives and friends and pets not yet listed
39. Plants of the pets of the friends of my enemies
40. The dead friends of my dead enemies and their relatives and friends of their relatives living and/or dead
41. Enemies to be named later
There may be more to add, but this small list will suffice for now.
Thank you for your support.
I think I can join in on your severe displeasure with #14. In fact, the whole damn place.
True. They are so lame in so grand a way.
I see I haven't made the list yet. Hmmm, I wonder what I can....
Yes, keep trying. I don't want to too exclusive and discriminatory.
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