November 7, 2007

The E-Mail about My Penis and Its Size

Under the tantalizing subject heading "sdioryht" (I had no idea that's how you spelled that), I received an electronically-couriered message this afternoon complete with a portal to a web site that offers, apparently for free, advice on how to, and I quote exactly here: "Permanently Enlarge Your cock At Home".

The reader may wonder at the wisdom of putting the word of most concern in only lowercase while capitalizing its sentence companions. I see their plan: By leaving "cock" literally smaller than its peers, it reminds you that your genitalia may also be of inferior size compared to the genitalia owned or rented by your friends.

Leaving aside typographical matters, note that this very short epistle offered many other sage bits of advice. To wit, those words were, and, again, I quote most definitively: "sdnofeid scotchif sea-holm sdrowssu".

Ahh, yes. Wise words. Wise words, indeed.

Now that I have been convinced of the efficacy of clicking on this portal, let me just say that it behooves one to contrast the merit of this message to those that propose to do otherwise.

For instance, I submit to you that it is far, far better to "Permanently Enlarge Your cock At Home" than to:

1. Temporarily Enlarge Your cock At Work

2. Permanently Ensnare Your cock At Home Or Work

3. Permanently Enlarge Someone Else's cock At Home

4. Permanently Enlarge Your Wife's vagina At Home

5. Mistakenly Enlist Your cock In The Army

6. Permanently Entomb Your cock At The Cemetary

7. Permanently Engrave Your cock At Your In-Law's House

8. Occasionally Entangle Your cock At Your Knitting

9. Temporarily Enbritish Your cock At The Weekend

10. Permanently Enlarge Your Wife's cock At Home

11. Permanently Enlarge Your heart At Home

12. Immediately Ensever Your cock Anywhere

13. Sporadically Enlarge Your cOcK At Home


ShOI said...

14. Lackadaisically embiggen your rooster at the State Fair

Anonymous said...

15. Miserably engorge your cock in Jr. High.

Brendon Etter said...

Ahh, both great additions, and so true, so true.

Thank you both.