May 23, 2006

A Play A Day #40

The 1,2,3


Setting: Wherever numbers hang out. Let's say a bar.

1: Here's why it's important...

2: It's nothing like that...

1: Yeah, it is...

3: I don't think it's really...

2: Yep...

1: No, what do you guys know?

3: Plenty.

1: Yo, you know I'm elemental!

2: Just because you go into the whole lot of us.

3: You're a whore.

1: Blah, blah... whatever...

2: But you get nothing out of it.

1: I get plenty...

3: No, you don't; you go in, and all you get is the same thing that you went into.

1: Exactly, I get the whole thing!

2: But nothing new, man... nothing new!

3: No, you're like putting sugar in sugar...

1: Sure, twice as sweet!

2: No, I'm twice as sweet, don't even try taking...

3: There's the other thing...

1: Don't you bring that up again!

3: Why...

1: Shut it!

2: I'll do it...

1: No, neither one of you!

2: Ohh... you had to spike that one in our faces, didn't you...

3: Way to go, shithead, you just spiked yourself that time!

2: What... no!

3: Yeah, you said "spike that one in our faces"...

2: Did I? Shit!

3: That's alright, forget it...

2: Well, we still got the mult...

1: No!! You don't!

3: Hey man! Did you hear about that one?

1: Shut up!

2: No man? What about that one?

1: You fuckers! It's not like...

3: Yeah, he jumps on board acts like he can take you far, then you just sit there.

1: Fuckers are just jealous!

2: Train never leaves the station.

3: Sad.

1: Yeah, sad and lame fuckers like you!

2: Just can't change a thing, either going in or pulling out!

3: Totally impotent.

1: Shut the hell up!

2: With such a nice shape too...

1: Jealous.

2: You figure he'd have some virility...

1: I'm leaving...

3: Ah, c'mon! You know were just messing with you!

1: Just shut the hell up, alright!

2: Boy, some can dish it out, huh?

1: I hate you two!

3: Sorry, two, I guess I'm still in with him.

2: Fine, you're buying the next round.

3: Fuck that.

1: Listen, all I was saying was that we can't just rest on our laurels.

2: I rested on a laurel once.

1: Shut up, you know what I mean!

3: I don't think we're resting on our laurels; just relax...

1: We have to be strong.

2: We can't help where it falls.

3: Yeah. It was five percent last week, and I talked with five the other day...

1: How'd he handle it?

3: Said it was o.k., a lot of press calls; like a shit load...

1: Yeah, that's what I'm worried about...

2: Dude, there's no way it can get that low, relax!

1: I don't know.

3: I'm the closest right now; you guys don't have to worry.

2: The best polls have plus or minus three percent error anyway.

1: True. Hits one of us, it'll hit us all, won't it?

2: Yep.

3: Very true.

1: Alright; why don't I get the next round, boys?

3: Nah, that's enough for me.

2: Suppose so. Three can't be shitfaced when the press comes knocking.

1: It's so weird; I never thought we'd have to worry about a situation like this, you know?

2: Yeh, bizarre.

3: No shit.

(lights start fading)

1: I mean, who woulda thought the President's approval rating could drop this far?

2: I hear ya.

3: Turns out the bastard has weapons of mass destruction too.

1: Unbelievable.

(lights out)



Circe said...

This is fantastic! You're so fucking creative. Yeah, and I read your blog. And what's more...I blogged too.

Brendon Etter said...

Thank you, dear one. I'll give you a big hug at rehearsal tonight...

Circe said...

A hug and a sweater, I hope. What kind of dumbass drops a sweater in your front yard. It's like the grunge Cinderella, except that anyone could fit that sweater, so it's not as special as a glass slipper. Plus, if that sweater is a symbol of my virginity, I'm in big trouble. It's large, brown and has been worn several times. Ew.