April 16, 2006

A Play A Day #2

The Difference Between You and Me

You: I'm much taller.

Me: True.

You: I can run faster.

Me: Probably, a little bit.

You: Totally faster.

Me: Whatever...

You: What else?

Me: You know magic.

You: Yeah, I do, forgot that one.

Me: But, I can juggle almost anything.

You: Yeah, ummm... generally.

Me: I like twist cones.

You: I wish you'd just choose... chocolate or vanilla...

Me: I took advanced physics while I was still in high school.

You: Doesn't help you choose ice cream very well though.

Me: I can do origami fairly well.

You: I used to know how to do the cube one.

Me: I like spicy foods.

You: So do I, doesn't count.

Me: I date a lot of women.

You: Totally unfair! You bastard!

Me: Oh, yeah, sorry...

You: You should be. I can't believe you brought that one up.

Me: Well, it is a difference.

You: Yeah! But what a prick you are!

Me: Well, what a prick I have, at least.

You: You fuck! It's your fault!

Me: I said I can juggle almost anything...

You: Almost! Shit. Too late now.

Me: I said stay away when I'm juggling knives or...

You: I didn't hear you, o.k?

Me: ....at the very least put your underwear on...

You: We've been through this! Alright! So I was distracted...

Me: You were jerking off...

You: Yeah! Fine! But why the hell were you juggling knives in my shower?! Huh!?

Me: Sorry about that, not the best place.

You: Fucking right, it's not!

Me: Well, now I know: wet knives are hard to catch.

You: Yeah, right, you and I both know.

Me: You and me and Stumpy.

You: And the left one, too...

Me: Oh. Yeah. Sorry, couldn't remember which one was still hanging on.

You: Yeah. You know, if you're ever in a similar situation again, put down ALL the knives before you try to stop the bleeding.

Me: There's another difference!

You: What?

Me: I know first aid.

You: Not very well.


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