Death will call on you many times. Be sure you have registered on your state's "Do Not Call" list.
Wear deathscreen. DPF 30 or above, especially during the high-death hours of noon to noon.
Don't engage in activities which have been linked to death, like eating or breathing.
Stay in shape. Suggested shape: vertical line segment.
Double your lifespan by forcing your children to accomplish what you did not.
Play dead.
Believe there's a blissful, painless, eternal life after this one, or at least a good hotel with a hot tub.
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