Days On Which I'm Not Shuffling And Why

1) Tuesday - This day has always been reserved for moping.

2) Saturday - I'm not going to shuffle on Saturdays just because everyone else is shuffling that day. I have my integrity and will not be just another shuffling sheep.

3) Days when I have a gold-painted cardboard box on my head that makes me look like a sci-fi robot from the early 1950s - My vision is severely limited on such days making shuffling hazardous.

4) Sunday - I dare not taunt Mr. Jesus.

5) Wednesday - It's hard to explain, but this day has never felt right for shuffling. You know what I mean?

6) Days heretofore not explicitly denoted - I reserve the right to refrain from shuffling on any other day not listed above, at my sole discretion.