January 28, 2009

Brendon Makes Up Parenthetical Titles For Songs

Songs rarely carry enough heft in their titles. Oh sure, some titles frame the song perfectly, especially techno songs where the title is either breezily abstract and meaningless enough to make you feel stupid - Per Burn Disconsolate Triad Likeness, for example; or just one word long - the same one word that happens to be the only lyric in the song, repeated 2,000 times. For clarity.

A longer title could lift many songs out of the rubbish bin of vague word economy and into the recycling container of descriptive semantic luxury. We all know it's better to recycle, ergo...

A few song titles with my parenthetical additions to help solidify the song's place in your mind. I think you'll find it much easier to remember such titles when they more closely call up the true meaning of the lyrical or musical content that they signify.

Let's begin:

1) Hey, Jude (Naaaaaaaaa Naaaaaa Naaaaa Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na, etc...)

2) Blister In The Sun (Violent Femmes Masturbation Song)

3) Loser (Or Scientologist)

4) Dancing With Myself (Billy Idol Masturbation Song (ew...))

5) Brown Eyed Girl (Sha La La La La La La La La Lala Ti Da)

6) Dance, Motherfucker, Dance! (Mutherfucker)

7) Turning Japanese (Culturally-Insensitive Masturbation Song)

8) Revolution 9 (The Skip-To-The-Next-Track-Because-Listening-To-This-Will-Not-Make-You-Deep Song)

9) December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night! (Frankie Valli Loses His Virginity Song))

10) When I'm Sixty-Four (Which Was A Couple Years Ago, And The Answer Is "No")

11) Suffragette City (Concern For Women's Voting Rights And Vaginas Song)

12) Don't You Forget About Me (Laaaa La La La Laaaaa La La La Laaaaa Lalalalalalalalalala Laaaa)

This is just a sampling. Please add your own. Also join my facebookblogfriendgroupthingy right here! Yes! Oh, Yes! Me Wanna facebookblogfriendy!


Unknown said...

5) (revised) Brown Eyed Girl (Anal sex)

6) All Apologies (I'm Kurt Cobain and I'm going to kill myself, but first I'll whine a lot)

7) Lola (The Girl With the Bulge)

8) Vaseline by Elastica (The Big Dick Song)

9) That'll Be The Day by Buddy Holly (The Battered Wife Syndrome Song)

10) Virginia Plain by Roxy Music (Indiscriminate Mumbling Song)

11) Fat Bottom Girls (Fat Bottom Boys Are Good Too)

12) Monkey Man (Keith Richards' Biography)

13) Once In A Lifetime (The Suburb Song)

14) Quadrophenia (The Who Album That Needs New Lyrics)

15) Hummingbird by Wilco (Oral Sex)

16) Teach Me Tiger (Spank Me Harder)

17) I Melt With You (Raiders of the Lost Ark Love Theme

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