The Nineteen Types of Illegitimate Rape

Dear Reader,

First peruse this article, lest you not recognize the context of today's list.

Done reading? Good.

There are twenty types of rape, but only one is technically legitimate. The other nineteen don't count. Please don't question this list, it has been scientifically ascertained from talking to doctors.

For future reference, here are the nineteen illegitimate types of rape.


1. Silly rape
2. Annoying rape
3. Sentimental rape
4. Drinky rape
5. White rape
6. Ghost rape
7. Conflicted rape
8. Party rape
9. Punishment rape
10. Subtle rape
11. Ironic rape
12. Wealthy rape
13. Compensatory rape
14. Hazy rape
15. Lesser rape
16. Suburban rape
17. Religious rape
18. Only rape
19. Rape