June 28, 2010

Proper Collective Terminology for Things Which Could Possibly End the World

A plague of locusts does not equal a plague of zombies, because there is no such thing as a plague of zombies. Yes, I understand: You are under attack. Okay.

So, the world is being besieged by a massive amount, number, grouping of some thing, do we just forget proper speech? No! We do not. The first rule in defeating your enemy is knowing how to address your foe correctly.

What follows is a list of the proper collective terms for just some of those groups which mean us a coda of destruction.

1. An Evisceration of Emus
2. A Shard of Deconstructionists
3. A Perturbance of Toddlers
4. A Clot of Nitwits
5. A Something of Nothingness
6. A Madness of Reefer
7. A Disconcerto of Ennui
8. A Grape-Juicing of Stains
9. A Creep of Mildew
10. An Empty of Pessimism
11. A Colloquy of Colicry
12. A Totally of Insincerity
13. An Oklahoma of Musicals
14. A Braining of Zombies
15. An Ainting of Poor Grammar
16. A Mis of Understanding
17. A Jack of Jills
18. A Lesser-Greater of Bad Math
19. A Covering of Boobies
20. A Bubbling of Goo
21. An Ending of Infinities

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