March 7, 2010

If You Go Beyond Bed and Bath...

Scientists have long speculated that, when travelling the limitless mallscape, which is expanding without cease at the speed of credit, humanity may encounter worlds of goods which mimic our own, but embody some strangeness or other dimension that we cannot perceive. One flamboyant and well-decorated hypothesis proposes potential worlds beyond not only the bed but also the bath.

While not without some virulent detractors, the theory has attracted attention for its radical assertion that what we see of retail may not be all there is. So what might exist beyond the bed and the bath?

1) The Infinite Kitchen

2) The Foyer Horizon

3) Crate & Anti-Barrel

4) The Uncertainty Den

5) Garage of Ten Dimensions

6) Wormhole / Playroom

7) Schrödinger's Stairs (which can possibly be used to ascend and descend simultaneously)

8) Pottery Singularity Barn

9) The Five-Season Porch

10) Pantry Constant

11) Orange Julius


Unknown said...

Reductio ad absurdum - anytime you can work that into a list you've got something or do you?

Brendon Etter said...

Oh yeah! Right, Boyd! So, suppose I have a list about "My Favorite Scents" - and you propose that adding "reductio ad absurdum" to that list, nay, to ANY and ALL lists I create, no matter that the inclusion of the concept is completely without relevance, will somehow add to the list's quality? What an absurd concept!