Frequently, I'm not asked by anyone sometimes nothing about something like this everyday: Where do you not get your ideas?
Good question!
Let me truthfully lie to you some more and not tell you from where I may or may not hardly not get my ideas sometimes.
1. IdeaMart - Bastards said it was double-coupon day, but then denied almost all my coupons for Metaphors and Historical Allusions. Won't be shopping there again.
2. The neighbor's trash can. Once again, I was looking for my purpose, not my ideas.
3. From staring at naked male breasts. Apparently I wasn't clear enough on this one in yesterday's list.
4. My ass. I've checked and re-checked, but there's never anything up there. Can you look for me?
5. My "Ideas Wanted " ad in the local newspaper. No one ever responds to that thing.
6. The Holy Spirit. Have you seen that guy lately? He's all, like, "Wooooooooo-hissssssss, look at me! I'm a dementor!" That's all he fucking does these days. Useless.
7. My kidneys. Neither one seems especially inspired of late.
8. Quarks. I find neutrinos speak to me more.
9. My dreams. I could take a lot of ideas from them, except I sold the rights to my dreams to my need for a secure life for an undisclosed sum.
10. The Man. No way! I'm not your patsy! You'll never take me alive! Freeeeeeedooooommmmm!!!
11. The Remex Idea-matic DX150. Shitty thing does not work.
12. Otters. Let's just say, the otters and I, we don't get along any more. End of story.
2 comments:
The IdeaMax DX180 is a big upgrade, but hard to find. I have a hack for the old DX150 that gets around some of its design flaws. I will sell it for the right price.
You are friggin' hilarious, Jim!
I'll buy it for the idea of one hundred dollars, with the notion of twenty added if I like the color...
Is it cherry red?
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