What They Say to and about Guys with Big Feet

1. "You know what's most amazing about your size sixteen feet? The fact that you have seven of them."

2. It's much easier for them to walk on thin ice.

3. They have to wear special shoes which prevent their toes from digging underground to establish a nourishing, but stationary, root system.

4. They make horrible ballerinas / spies.

5. "Can I borrow your shoe to knock down this supporting wall?"

6. If all you have is large feet, you think every problem looks like an ass waiting to be kicked.

7. Barefoot water skiing shouldn't be a challenge.

8. "Amazing! You can put your foot in your mouth with bending over!"

9. They have very big penises, just not always their own.

10. "When are the big footed forces going to end their cruel occupation of the autonomous territory of Smallfootland?"

11. In a pinch, feet can be used as a picnic table and rain shelter for the family.

12. They are descended directly from the first capital 'L'.