1. Nagging conscience - found under an overdue library book that I had hastily shoved into the mouth of the whiniest hostage.
2. Cloud of doubt - found coalescing around my kernel of suspicion.
3. Pillar of virtue - just got it back from friends who borrowed it to use as a battering ram to break into the convent's rare cultural artifacts room.
4. Key to success - found it deep down in the couch cushions, must have fallen out of my pocket while I was in the middle of another 48-hour ice cream and whiskey-fueled cartoon channel marathon.
5. Bridge to the future - found in the garage underneath a whole bunch of old, unfinished projects from the past few years.
6. Dogs of war - found in their kennel, no food, little water; as befits any struggle for scarce resources, only one of the three had survived the fighting.
7. Fountain of knowledge - neighbor took it when I left it out on the street with a "free" sign on it. Now, it's covered in bird shit in his garden.
8. Hour of darkness - pretty sure it'll show up, it always seems like it's right behind me.
Your neighbor mistook it for the fountain of youth, which I think you are keeping selfishly for yourself.
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