Most Regrettable Aspects of the Air Supply Concert I Attended with My Mother When I Was 14

Okay. This one requires some explaining.

My uncle owns a couple music stores in northern Minnesota. He would sell tickets for concerts that were upcoming at the Duluth Arena. If we brought the sales receipts to the arena - a sixty mile drive one way - we usually were granted free tickets as compensation.

My mom wanted to see Air Supply...

It was in my pre-fan years of music appreciation...

I basically just listened to the radio, and Air Supply were all over the radio back then...

It was my mom...

Don McLean was the opening act...

I'm trying to excuse my behavior here...

Anyway. There were many regrettable aspects of the concert. I'll concentrate on only the most regrettable among them.


1. Don McLean, very unfortunately, opened and closed his set with "American Pie".

2. So did Air Supply.

3. Thirty-four fans were trampled to death; all wearing sensible shoes.

4. Music was so mellow that the pot smoke in the air just seemed redundant.

5. A lot of middle-aged housewives flashing the stage was not as thrilling or pert as I'd hoped it would be.

6. Seemed like the callous fans only wanted to hear the radio hits, not Air Supply's more experimental jazz-rap-punk-hybrid album cuts.

7. Confusion about which of the band members was truly the one that you love.

8. Turns out, they're foreigners.

9. Too much open drug use among hardcore fans.

10. Hell's Angels in attendance wept openly under the onslaught of balladry.

11. Air supply was not able to keep up with air demand; hundreds asphyxiated.