1. Old man Johnson will emit only bodily fluids, not "brilliant, cascading rainbows of sparks."
2. I will spend the whole evening talking to you out of great reverence for not only your intelligence but also your breasts.
3. My attempt to rewrite the record books by swimming around the globe at the equator will end with South America's pigheaded refusal to dig a narrow channel across the continent.
4. The hot ladies will run, just not toward me, when I reveal that I am a close, personal friend of both Huey Lewis and The News.
5. The UN General Assembly will be thrilled with the possibilities offered by my unique and bold Mideast peace initiative if they ever take to time to read it on my website: www.arabjewhardcore.com.
6. The kitten will always land on its feet, but that will offer little assistance after the furry thing has reached terminal velocity.